Comment

Comment by Ginny Findlow on February 24, 2010 at 7:23pm

Inner peace [wherever you are] I now understand our past conversation, which was at cross-purposes. Last night I googled Rastafari and it all made sense.

You are really STUCK aren't you - you CANT react differently emotionally because the painful "oppression/ captivity in Babylon" story is a central part of your worldview. When I first responded to your blog I thought "she is miserable and fed up, so she has posted a negative message." But it was really the other way round: - believing those negative things is what makes you miserable. I took you, at face value, to be saying 'i am hurting so much, please support me and comfort me." But really you were saying "Look what you did to us!!" [300years/15generations ago.] I am angry! [Also - "your religions are useless, mine is much better - it will be the answer to all our problems".]

One thing gives me hope, though. You are an intelligent girl. You said you decided to eat a more healthy diet, when you learned that you were on the wrong track with the standard high fat/highsalt American takeaway diet. So at some time in the future perhaps you might, eventually, realise the effect that all that negative history has on your spirit and mental state, and throw it away.

Some examples - Xanana Gusmao [East Timor] was hunted by the Indonesian army and nearly died from disease while he was on the run. When he came into power he forgave all his oppressors
Nelson Mandela could have dwelt on his hardship, but he worked for peace and change of policy.
The Jews cling tenaciously to the memories of all their bad treatment for the past 2000years. It doesnt help them to rise above it. [Israel treats other folk badly instead.]

Forgiveness is the only way to inner peace. Forgive the past, forget it, let it go, work towards the future. Otherwise there is no solution to your internal conflict. [You could write to Xanana Gusmao and ask him how it's done.] If you identify with victim-hood, you will never be happy or successful. Thinking that way is the equivalent of chaining yourself up, psychologically.
Ginny

Comment by Ginny Findlow on February 22, 2010 at 10:02pm

What you describe [the pain that is part of the decision to love] must somehow be surrounded and separated from your own sense of well-being, so that you [personally] are not disabled by it. What would be the point of sharing other people's pain, if it makes you so unhappy that you can hardly get up in the morning, or do a day's work?

It seemed to me that you were very stressed - anxious and depressed - also very angry. The LAST thing I would want to do is disempower you. But anger IS very disempowering - we all know that we disempower ourselves all the time by our attitudes and determination not to forgive. I have done it - everyone has done it at some time or another. If you read your own comments on this blog [as though someone else had written them] you would notice that there is anger there. Especially your first blog. [That's probably why no-one responded.]

I have had the same life-work as you. I have experienced tragedy in people's lives - in their struggles, their relationships, their mistakes and disasters, as well as their health, sickness and deaths. When I was a young doctor I used to get very upset & stressed, because sometimes things were out of my control, and I couldn't make a person better or stop him from dying. Then one day, I was having a shower one morning and I suddenly thought 'i am trying hard to be good enough so that God will love me. ' [Whatever i did could never be enough.] After that, I learned how to just be content with what I could do, and just leave it all to God to worry about. I was still sympathetic to the pain, enthusiastic to help, but my own contentment [knowing God loved me, just for myself] acted as an equaliser to the pain. I agree totally with you - '"To observe and not feel" and "to sit and do nothing" are both IMPOSSIBLE - that's not what I was suggesting. What I was suggesting was a different way of reacting emotionally.
With Love
Ginny

Comment by innerpeace on February 22, 2010 at 8:48pm

Blessed love, I am glad that you have words to express yourself, but, Iwombman intentions are and shall always be for the greater good of self and humankind. Iwombman live for the healing of words between us not more words to seperate us into camps of us vs them, I respect your need to help or see in Iwombman words something that is not there, or perceived in a manner that is disempowering to Iself. The aloneness that Iwombman speak of is difficult to translate or express but Iwombman shall try, It is the aloneness of seeing young African men, running from themselves using drugs to kill themselves and their community, it is hearing the sobs of young women as they have children at the age of 12, it is seeing African men and women lose hope due to sickness and dis-ease such as diabetes and lung cancer, second to high blood pressure and stroke, Iwombman have the humbling experience to sit and host a radio program on an community action radio show that allows me to talk about these crippling concerns and then express workable solutions. When you truly love and care, you hurt, when you think, you act, when you stand, you must walk towards solutions of light to bring as many out of the darkness as possible. That has been my life work, Iwombman sought a different course in Iwombman life by choosing Rastafari livity to help heal Iwombman from the life that had been handed to Iwombman, not knowing that this life was filled with seeds of Iwombman's own self destruction, I changed radically from eating meat, from anger to peace, from hatred to love, knowing that those in the African community would not understand since they are still trapped by the illusions. Hence, comes Iwombman aloneness,but never alone in Iwombman' heart and mind, Iwombman usually do not take the time to clarify, or explain but in your case Iwombman is trying to bridge a gap that has been fostered by the concept of knowing what is best bettter than what Iwombman know is best, better and necessary for Iwombman spiritual and physical development and maintanance on this trod called Iwombman's life. To observe and not feel, that is impossible for Iwombman, to sit and do nothing is also impossible for Iwombman as well. However Jah Rastafari has taught Iwombman let the fruits of InI works be my redemption and the words of Iwombman mouth be acceptable in Jah Rastafari sight. Giving thanks that we have come together and have spent time expressing life, called our opinions, Iwombman would find it difficult to say or think as you have towards Iwombman. Please give Iwombman some indication as to why you perceived this to be necessary or helpful?

Comment by Ginny Findlow on February 22, 2010 at 6:18pm

Dear 'inner peace'

I think we are starting to part company here - if you complain about your hurting - in such a vibrant manner - but choose NOT to accept any help that is suggested, because you are so angry with the agencies you have identified as the 'bad people' [western colonialism, which somehow includes Maynard and Ginny?!!] but at the same time you insist that no-one has ever suffered as you do ['there is no greater alone-ness than".......etc etc] it almost looks like you prefer the situation you are in at the moment, to any alternative experience. The choice is yours - no-one can do it for you. And it also follows that if YOU find it so difficult to choose another option [=not to suffer] then you can see why the people you describe are not doing it either. Perhaps you could be the first, and show them how its done.

These are the facts; 1.being ANGRY makes you depressed. 2. Being depressed takes away energy that could otherwise be used in a creative way. 3. The result is apathy, lack of change, a vicious circle.

Next set of Facts [how to get better]
1. Do something about your anger
2.Take responsibility for your own actions/feelings NOW
3. Dont look for people to blame, & the global picture. Lok at the SMALL picture - your own circumstances
4. Find people to share your feelings with, who will care for you and support you and pray with you
5.Work together on a SMALL project where you can see a positive result. Then gradually God will pick you up and you will start to feel better about everything.

Even if anger is JUSTIFIED [i.e.an injustice has been done in the past] it doesnt HELP a person or a marriage or a country - to hang on to it indefinitely. The good things will only start when you decide to FORGIVE. [These are the facts - I didnt organise it - its the way things ARE. Take it or leave it.]

Sorry to be so blunt - i am trying to 'speak the TRUTH in a spirit of love' [ I know its hard, but it CAN be done.]
best wishes and prayers
Ginny
PS my bridesmaid was a UNi friend - Monica - from St Vincent. We used to drink tea laced with rum, in our rooms!

Comment by innerpeace on February 22, 2010 at 1:24pm

As the Indiginous Elders have taught Iwombman to walk a mile in a man's shoes will give you the humble experience to be able to see your own arrogance and apartness from the pain of those around you, unfortunately in the African American communities there are no parks to walk through, and very few parks in the white community that you can walk through without the police followinging you. For my burning out, trying to help, no I choose my causes and battles wisely and in a manner that I can feel that I have impacted the situation with light and love. There is no greater aloneness than be conscious surrounded by those lost in mental slavery. As to the remark about the Africans inslaving each other, what the White Man did was decimate a continent of its best and brightest minds, and able bodies to build to our own needs not compete with western mentality or businesses. We had enough to take care of ourselves, from gold to diamonds, oil and spiritual capital. I wonder from both of your comments do either of you have this sort of conversations with your African friends or do you have any?

Comment by Maynard on February 22, 2010 at 10:19am

Dear innerpeace,

The churches in your area may not be providing anything for you, or for me, but they're probably not out to impose themselves upon us, and if they are, it should be easy enough to ignore and deny them. I'm sorry you feel so much pain and threat and loneliness. It's often very difficult to find our perspective and place of comfort amidst all the things which are so horribly wrong around us. It helps me to move around, get monthly passes on the public transit and visit all the parks and other interesting places, and also to wander without destination only with attention to discover.

I'm surprised to see you reference a "complete lack of motivation, spiritual development and cultural idenity". Is there no Gospel Music in your non-WASP congregations?

I agree with Ginny that we cannot ultimately help them, that Jah/God/Allah/etc is the healer, and teacher, and maybe we can help to facilitate. Part of our spiritual development is to discover how we can be of good help.

I did not intend to convey that time heals wounds. In this life, time only passes idly and passively by as we actively and consciously pass through different spiritual states and perspectives of consciousness and degrees of compassion, by making the most mundane of decisions along the way.

Warm hugs,
--Maynard

Comment by Ginny Findlow on February 22, 2010 at 5:33am

Wow - you sound as though you are really hurting on behalf of these people - that you have lost all hope that things could ever improve. Things are much the same in Australia with the aborigines - progress is very patchy. Here and there you can find a good idea taking shape, but mostly its more of the same. All I can say is - the situation is generally no better back in the country of origin. Most of Africa is in turmoil. Aids, war, drugs, poverty. I dont think we can blame the church for all of this - its what happens when you try to advance a culture 'Fast Forward' through thousands of years, but only give them 2centuries to do it. Doesnt work!

Asking 'whose fault is it' doesnt work either. [Actually, the african chiefs used to ship their people out for slaves, to make money, and the trade was run pretty much by Muslim Africans, who were socially a bit more up-market than the indigenous: - more skilled in business.] Of course, if white folk hadn't got a place for them in the cotton fields, there wouldnt have been a trade at all. I think we were all in it together, if the truth be known!

In the New Testament, when the disciples asked Jesus why awful things had happened to individuals [like leprosy or blindness] they suggested that it must have been because they had done bad things. [A sort of punishment.] But Jesus said NO! The situation was there SO THAT God could be GLORIFIED through it - by putting the awful thing right, people would be demonstrating God's love. It was an oPPORTUNITY!

Having said that - [that the challenge is out there to DO something about it] - it concerns me that you might be alone with this? You said you are mandated to meet everyone's needs "the sick, hungry, elders and babes + teaching spiritual truths". This sounds to me like a very heavy burden to take on; too much for one little lady! I believe that it is GOD's job to do all those things, and its your job to just BE there [wherever he wants you to be] and be a willing vehicle for him to use. Otherwise you will get tired out and dispirited, then you will be no use to man nor beast!

Does any of this sound sensible?
Love, Ginny

Comment by innerpeace on February 22, 2010 at 2:36am

As to Maynard comment about time will heal all wounds, for many it is just inflicting more, the churches are continuing to act with a callous heart to those who can least stand against it, thinking out of the box is the crime of the century today, what is it that is really being defined, and or created by the organized churches? more schools for brainwashed teaching, lack of employment for the lost and addicted, no place for the elders what are we really addressing if not the underbelly that needs to be exposed not covered over with the same old platitudes.
Iwombman am concerned that many will die literally and spiritually from a lack of love and feeling of belonging somewhere accepted somewhere by someone truly, without an agenda to use them as a project or slide show at a conference.

Comment by innerpeace on February 22, 2010 at 2:28am

I am concerned about the results of organized religion has played in the lack of ability to think in humanity especially in the African American Community in America. The complete lack of motivation, spiritual development and cultural idenity has created a culture of Prison for our men and Single parenthood for our women based on the WASP Christianity in our community of being done for not empowered to do for self. Our neighborhoods looked like Iraq and Afganistan right now, most of the properties are own by the government or the church. I am concerned that this will be our legacy for generations to come, No hope and no way out.

Comment by Ginny Findlow on February 22, 2010 at 12:57am

Dear Inner Peace, there have been organised religions in all the countries on earth for the last 40,000years. Its what human beings do, organise themselves. The bigger the organisation gets, the less democratic it becomes, and members stop caring for one another like family. If you have chosen to serve the Creator as you say, you have nothing to fear from organised religion [which generally works in families,through the generations, anyway.e.g.rules about who you can marry, what you can wear.] You seem to be frightened of something - I'm not sure what. Can you share what is worrying you?
Love from Ginny

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