What do you want? What do you REALLY want ...
Immediately, the ego-mind swings into action at this question and a mental list begins appearing. It begins with a number of 'wishes' of what it "does not" want. This "don't want" list comes easily because a great deal of attention has been given to it ... this attention keeps these "don't wants" firmly in your experience.
The list of "wants" comes less easily because they are tied to unworthiness, a lack of belief and a lack of identification with the life you think, at a deep level, you do not deserve.
Yet, even if each "don't want" and "want" were to appear in your experience this Moment ... still, you would not have "what" you Truly want. The thing, the experience, the circumstance in the "shell' behind which you hope to experience the Real want.
It is the "Life Essence" behind the curtain of temporary things you long for. Love IS that Life Essence - you want to be Loved. And still ... the "wanting" places it in the future - another illusion ... and the longing to receive Love places It outside your Self - another illusion.
The ego-mind, in its constant longing, never finds rest - the Peace that Radiates from Real Love. And yet, this very frustration Is the fuel that fires the passions of Divine Discontent driving you ever inward to the Heart ... your "feeling" Nature, which cuts through the illusion of the temporary to the Life Essence within.
The Heart does not search for anything or long for any experience ... it feels what is, allows all to come up and embraces each feeling releasing that which has hidden the Love it aleady IS.
When this occurs ... all else is added to it ... every experience the ego-mind once longed for appears effortlessly. And, as this happens the Life Essence is recognized at the Center of the temporary things ... the mask of experience no longer hides the Truth.
John McIntosh offers Spiritual "Satsang" Counselling